Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Flower Cure

After declaring what my blog is about in the previous post, I find myself almost immediately compelled to rebel. A week into my vacation in Santa Barbara, California, I'm thinking this blog's topic can be all the things about California that drive me mad.

As I was buying an expensive chocolate bar at an upscale grocery store in Santa Barbara, the words "Emotional Eating Support Kit" sang out at me. I irrationally examined and photographed this item. The box claims, among other things, that "rock water helps when you push yourself too hard trying to set a good example." Now all those SUV drivers with environmental stickers on their bumpers could ease out of the parking lot thinking "rationally and clearly and calmly" while feeling better about any physical imperfections.

I noticed that the bottles contain 27% alcohol. At .35 fl oz per bottle, it would be an expensive way to get drunk, but you could be the most rational and sanctimonious drunk ever, telling anyone who would listen that you were "protecting yourself from change, and that you had learned to observe your mistakes objectively, etc. etc."

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